


what you take with you

by OhMaven



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Crushes, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 21:19:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13175421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMaven/pseuds/OhMaven
Summary: Princess Leia reflects on what she's lost, and is reminded by someone she admires that as long as she shares her story, she'll never truly lose the things she loves.





	what you take with you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sophiegaladheon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiegaladheon/gifts).



The storage room room where Leia had hidden herself was dark, and quiet. She knew that outside, the sounds of industry would be overwhelming and she found that she needed a moment to allow herself to acknowledge what had been lost. All her life, Leia had been bound to Alderaan - to her duty as its princess, as the  _ heir _ , and the absence of that bond left a hole even larger than grief.

Who was she now?

Could you really be a  _ princess _ , if you didn't have a planet or a people anymore? At any rate, it wasn't about the title; it never had been. The concern was what to do with herself when she didn't have a goal. The Rebel Alliance would make room for her - Mon Mothma had made that perfectly clear, and Leia had devoted herself to this fight against the Empire.  _ But _ \- and it was a huge but - what would happen when this was all over? No war could last forever, and she knew that. When the galaxy was free of tyranny, what would become of Leia Organa, then?

The young woman buried her face against her knees, trying to breathe deeply despite the soft tears she had allowed herself. There wasn't time for more than a moment - this storage closet would be needed at some point, and the vulnerability wasn't something Leia had ever learned how to share with anyone. Although her family had been generous and servant-minded, they had still been royalty, and there was always an image to uphold. Even now, Leia couldn't let anyone see how shattered she felt, how drained, and empty, and broken.

She had stood there and watched as Alderaan had been reduced to space rock, and there was no time to allow herself to even feel guilty about that fact. Not now. Not when there were things that she could do - that she  _ needed _ to do. For the time being, duty still held her fast, and she would live out her father's dream to restore peace and democracy to a galaxy that had forgotten how either one worked. It was the least she could do for Alderaan, for her  _ parents. _

It was still hard.

As Leia sat there, trying to will the tears to stop, she heard the mechanism on the storage door unlock; she swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand and jumped off the crate she'd been curled up on. "Just a minute, I-"

"I'm so sorry." The voice was low, and the light was behind the other woman, but Leia knew that voice. Sabine Wren, a colorful Mandalorian, had crossed Leia's path more than once in the last handful of years, as Leia had become more and more involved with her father's secret work. Their meetings had always been brief (had always left her with butterflies in her belly and a buzz in her ears,) but Leia had respected the Mandalorian for her hard work and her ingenuity nevertheless.

Sabine stepped into the dark room, closing the door behind her. Without a word, she opened her arms, a silent invitation for a hug. It was almost funny, Sabine had never seemed like the sort of person to offer this kind of comfort - and Leia hadn't sought out a comforting embrace for a long time now, herself. She was the Crown Princess of Alderaan - the Heir Apparent - and she'd become an adult years ago on her Name Day; and  _ truly _ , more recently, as she leaned back against her enemy and watched her world disappear.

Today, however, Sabine was offering - and Leia didn't have it in her to refuse.

"Thank you," Leia said quietly, as she let the taller girl wrap her up in a hard hug. "I don't think anyone's said that yet."

For what felt like a long moment, Leia allowed herself be held, and then when she could hold herself straight, she pulled away from the Mandalorian, and hopped back onto the crate. Leia patted the space beside her once, and then Sabine joined her.

"What will you do now?" Sabine asked quietly, the fingers of her hand brushing against the side of Leia's. The younger of the two shrugged once, and then slumped slightly where she sat.

"I don't know," Leia admitted. "I feel..."

"Adrift?" Sabine supplied; her tone implied that she knew that feeling, if not its scope. "I think that's probably natural. You're going to feel like you're drifting through space for awhile - but I know you'll catch yourself on something."

Leia gestured with her hand, indicating the storage room and implying the entire base behind it. "Something like this? I'm grateful for it - I still want to help. I never got involved just for Alderaan's sake. I just know that it has to end, and I'm just going to be an orphaned princess from a planet that's going to fade from time and memory and..."

The princess let her words drift away, uncertain how to convey the depth of her emotions. She had always been emotional - quick to temper, and just as much to compassion. Her father had always been so proud of how strongly she felt things, even as he'd taught her how to experience those feelings and then let them go.

Bail had been so wise. What would  _ he _ do now?

Thinking of him was a double-edged sword. Leia winced, and slid her hands forward to grip the edge of the crate. She had loved both of her parents equally - it was just that she and Bail had been more alike. Sometimes, Breha had complained, they had been  _ too much _ alike. If the loss of Alderaan was a weight Leia couldn't yet fathom, the deaths of Bail and Breha were a sharp pang in her chest that left her breathless.

"Do you feel guilty?"

Sabine's tone was even, but once more, Leia felt the phantom brush of fingers against the back of her hand. The Mandalorian hadn't shared much of her past - a past that Leia was desperate to know but less eager to inquire about - but Leia could sense that the older woman understood this predicament in a way that none of the others around her seemed to.

"I was there," Leia's tone was flat. "I was so close, and I  _ lied  _ \- I protected this AllIance. I knew Tarkin, but there's still part of me that wonders..."

"You wonder if you should have put your role as their princess above your duty to the rest of the galaxy." It was a statement, and not an unkind one, but Leia could feel a tear slip down her cheek at having her anxieties voiced.

"Yes."

Sabine leaned forward, bracing her arms against her legs. "Don't take this the wrong way, Princess. But that's a little arrogant, taking the fate of your whole planet - and the whole galaxy - on your shoulders."

"Leia," she said, without addressing the rest of Sabine's words yet. "You should call me Leia. I always liked that better, anyway."

"You're still a princess," Sabine said quietly. She straightened up, and scooted a little closer until their shoulders were flush against one another. The taller woman bumped her shoulder into Leia's. "If you're still a princess, if you still carry your title, it means that you haven't forgotten them. It means no one else will, either."

It was a small thing, the idea that by living she could honor the dead. A small thing, but one that felt  _ very _ Alderaanian in nature. Leia sighed, still feeling so heavy, and tired, and old. A small smile tucked into the corners of her lips, though, as she nudged Sabine back.

"I think I asked you to call me Leia a long time ago," she said with mock sternness.

"You did," Sabine said slowly, as though she was mulling it over. "I think I decided that you're everything I like in a princess...so the title stays."

With a small smirk, Sabine jumped down from the crate. "Don't expect me to follow your orders or anything. It's strictly a term of endearment."

As Leia watched the Mandalorian disappear out the storage room door, she thought that maybe rather than devoid of any possible future, her path had opened up to more possibilities than she had ever let herself see before - and all of them involved living, and being sure that through her, so did her home world and its people; and her parents. She wiped her eyes once more, smoothed down her clothing, and then followed Sabine out into the base.

The time for grief had passed; it was time to build a better galaxy.


End file.
